Alsatian Meat Pie

     Alsace is located on the eastern border of France adjacent to Germany and Switzerland. This region loves its pork! It is also known for its white wine and produces some of the world's finest riesling and sylvaner wines. The cuisine of this reigon is heavily German due to it's history of Germanic possession. The food of Alsace is unique to this area of France and doesn't much resemble the idea of 'French' food. Did I mention, these people are really into pork? This Tourte à la viande is no exception to the Alsatian way. It's full of pork and wine, it's rustic and German, and definitely doesn't follow the frou-frou French tradition. It's actually a bit medieval..


Ask your butcher to coarsely grind the meat so its a bit chunky. Unless you grind it yourself... Baller.


The crust is Pâte Brisée but you can totally use that Pillsbury stuff and I swear I wont tell anyone!!  It's just a generic butter based pastry dough but the French make everything sound fancy. The key is to keep it cold, finish it quickly, and don't touch it too much because your body heat screws it up.

Pâte Brisée 

2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup cold butter
1/3 cup cold water

Mix the flour and salt together. Then, using a big fork or a food processor, cut the chilled butter into the flour until it looks like coarse sand with a few pea-sized pieces of butter in it. Sprinkle the water evenly over the mixture and toss gently a few times until a ball forms but no longer than that!!! Separate the dough into two balls, flatten slightly into thick disk shapes, wrap in plastic wrap, and chill for 2 hours or so.. You can cheat and cut the time in half by putting it in the freezer. OR.. just use the premade crap.

Ingredients:

2 Dinner Rolls

1 Cup of Milk

1lb of Ground Pork Tenderloin

1lb of Ground Veal Leg

2 Tbs of Butter

2 Diced Onions

1 Potato Peeled and Diced

1 Cup of Sylvaner Wine

1 Tbs Chopped Parsely

1 Tsp of Salt

Fresh Ground Pepper

Pâte Brisée

Tourte à la viande:

Break rolls into pieces and soak in milk for about 10 minutes. Drain the excess mild from the rolls and squeeze them a bit. Then chop them up. Saute the onions in the butter and add the bread potato and meat. Saute for 10 more min. Stir in the wine and parsley, then season with salt and pepper. Chill overnight. After chilling be sure to let the meat mixture drain for a while so all the excess liquid comes out. Otherwise, the pie will become watery and soggy.

Roll out the Brisse on a lightly floured surface into 2 - 9" round pieces. Put the bottom round into a greased pie dish. Fill with meaty goodness and top with the second piece of dough. Brush the edges of the dough with water and press to seal the edges. Cut a round vent hole in the center to allow steam to escape. Brush the entire crust with egg yolk. Bake at 350 for about an hour. Let sit before slicing otherwise it will fall apart and turn into a meaty mess.

Oysters With Black Bean Sauce

     In the summertime, my parents used to take me to Nantasket Beach in Hull, MA to ride a beautiful wooden carousel that was built sometime in the 20's. Afterwards we'd go eat at a restaurant named La Dalat and order big fat oysters with black bean sauce. Eating these brings me back to a time when waving at my parents every single go-round never got boring. These can be steamed or grilled. Bring them to a BBQ and be the highlight of the party!

     Black bean sauce is a salty brown sauce is made from fermented soybeans and a pretty standard Asian condiment. You can make it from scratch if you want, but it is readily available in the ethnic section of any supermarket so why bother. I have found that Lee Kum Kee brand sauces are pretty legit and easy to find. Click Here to see what the jar looks like. In this recipe I also use sweet soy sauce (which I love) Click Here to see what it looks like. If you can't find the sweet soy sauce it can be omitted.

My Tips On Buying Live Oysters:


     In my opinion, oysters should always be purchased from a legit fishmonger at a seafood market. Be sure to only buy shellfish that are tightly closed. Also, double-check your oysters for cracked shells. A cracked shell means an inedible oyster! If you bring home oysters that are open, tap them on the shell and wait for them to close. If your oyster will not react after tapping on the shell, you cannot eat it because it is dead. 


     They used to say that you should only eat oysters in months containing the letter 'R'.  However, Today, with farmed oysters and monitoring for pathogens, you can eat oysters year-round. Generally, oysters spawn in the summer months, May through August. Spawning causes them to become kind of creamy tasting, soft, and less flavorful. This is really only a guideline because oysters spawn depending on the temperature of the water and not the season. But, since we are cooking them in this recipe it doesn't much matter if you ask me. When cooking oysters, I try to choose the biggest ones because they will shrink as they cook. Click Here for a little video about shucking them if you haven't done it before.

Ingredients:

Raw Oysters In Their Shell
1 Tbs of Sesame Oil
2 Tbs Miced Shallot
1 Clove of Garlic, Minced
Small Palm-full of Fresh Ginger Peeled and Sliced Into Matchsticks
2 Heaping Tbs of prepared Black Bean Sauce or Black Bean Garlic Sauce
1 Tsp of Rice Wine
1 Tsp of White Granulated Sugar (I usually use a bit more because I like the sauce sweet)
1 Tsp of Sweet Soy Sauce
1/2 Tsp of Balsamic Vinegar
2 Stalks of sliced green onion




Get Shuckin':


In small saucepan, heat the sesame oil over medium-low heat. Fry the ginger, shallots and garlic until softened and fragrant, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in black bean sauce, wine, sugar sweet soy and vinegar; simmer for 2 minutes stirring constantly.Mix in the sliced green onion.

Now, there are 2 ways to go about cooking them. Shuck the oysters, and toss the top shell. Be sure to keep as much of the oyster liquor in without spilling it. spoon the sauce into the shell with the oyster and steam them.

Another way to cook them is to barbecue them on the grill; there's no need to shuck them first. Put the unopened oysters directly on the grill, flat shell up. When the shells pop open take off the top shell, spoon in a bit of the prepared sauce, and return them to the grill until the sauce begins to bubble.

Lobstah

Lobstah... My absolute favorite food. I'm talking about REAL lobster. Homarus americanus! Big ugly bastards with wicked big claws swimmin' in wicked cold watah. Those spiny abominations you warm folk call lobsters are not welcomed in my kitchen. All crustaceans were NOT created equal.

A Big Bug

How To Buy:

Lobster should always be purchased ALIVE! Ocean to plate is the best but unfortunately I live in Florida now so I have to buy them out of a supermarket tank. You should be wary of this. Chose the ones that are the fastest in the tank. When picked up, the tail should curl in. Definitely choose ones that have some fight in them. It should be looking you in the eye thinking "you just wait till I get these fuckin' rubber bands off! Your nose is mine! *insert evil lobster laugh*"  I always choose lobsters that are between 1¼ to 1½ lbs. I try to stay under 2lbs because I find the bigger ones are more chewy and they aren't as sweet. They should be cooked as soon as possible. Yes, it's murder. 

How To Murder:


In my opinion, which is fact, lobster is best when steamed/boiled. You're going to need a big pot. A lobster pot or a stock pot is best. An 8qt pot will cook one at a time and a 16qt stock pot will fit 2-3.  Don't jam too many into one pot or they wont cook evenly and you'll have seafood water over-boiling all over your kitchen. Fill the pot with water about half way. You want the lobsters to be submersed but you don't want it to be so full that the water over-boils. Bring the water to a boil, grab your victim on the back of the head (don't worry the claws can't get you from there) and use a pair of kitchen scissors to snip the rubber bands off. It's super important that you aren't a wuss and you snip the bands! If you don't, the water will taste rubbery and GROSS. Then, it's head first to their demise. Smash them down into the pot so they're fully covered. It's ok if they bob around a bit you can just keep poking them down with some tongs every once in a while. Cooking time depends on how big your lobsters are: 1-1 ¼ lb. 12 - 15 minutes. 1 ¼ - 2 lb. 15 - 20 minutes. 2-3 lb. 20 - 25 minutes. The lobster should turn a bright vibrant red when done. Cooked lobster meat is white. If it looks a little transparent you haven't cooked it long enough. 
CRACK! BUTTER. BUTTER. BUTTER. Mmmmmm.


Note: There has always been argument over drawn butter and clarified butter. Salted vs. Unsalted. Everyone shut up, put some butter in a little bowl and microwave for 30 seconds. 

Leftovers:


I always gorge myself on the tails and by the time I get to the claws I'm just too full. Don't despair! Leftover lobster meat is perfect for New England Lobster rolls. A little lemon, a little mayo, a little celery, a little salt and pepper and STOP. The lobster should be the star so don't cover it up with too much junk. Serve on a butter toasted bun. Preferably split on the top but they're hard to find where I live so I have to make do with hotdog buns. I use a leaf of boston lettuce or bib lettuce or butter lettuce or whatever you wanna call it between the bun and the lobster to prevent the toasty bread from getting soggy. 

I'd like to take this opportunity for a product shout out. LEMONAISE! It's actually perfect for lobster rolls and it's just a really good condiment all around.

Tuscan Sausage Soup

 I bought a really nice bunch of kale from the organic farmer's market this week and this soup was the first thing that came to mind.  I love soup as a meal and this one definitely fills you up. It's really simple to make and you only need one pot to do it. I like kale in soups because it keeps it's shape and doesn't get super wilty like spinach or chard. When buying kale, look for dark green leaves without spots or little holes. The bunches that have massive leaves tend to be more fibrous and tough so choose shorter ones. I'm convinced green leafy veggies are going to protect me from cancer so I try to eat them as much as possible.   Kale is loaded with vitamins and anti-oxidants so eat up! Always choose organic when available!!! What's the point in eating greens to be healthy if they're full of chemicals and pesticides anyway?

Organic Kale

Ingredients:


4 Links of Hot Turkey Sausage Removed from Casings
4 Slices of Bacon Cut Into small pieces
1 Bunch of Kale Chopped (stems discarded)
1 Medium Yellow Onion Diced
3 Cloves Minced Garlic
2 Large Red Potatoes cut into 1/2 inch squares
3 Cups Chicken Broth
3 Cups Hot Water
1/3 Cup White Wine
1 Cup Fat Free Half & Half
Salt and pepper To Taste




Add bacon pieces to a large pot over medium-high heat and saute until the bacon begins to sizzle and crisp. Add Onion and saute until it begins to become transparent. Add sausage and brown. Keep jabbing it with a wooden spoon so the sausage crumbles into small pieces. When browned, add the minced garlic and saute for another minute. Add white wine, chicken broth water and potato chunks. Bring to a boil for a few minutes then reduce the heat to med-low and simmer about 15min partially covered. Add the kale. Simmer another 15-20 minutes. Turn the heat to low and add the half & half. Simmer on low another 10 min. Season with salt and pepper. If you couldn't find 'Hot' Sausage you can add some cayenne pepper to taste. Enjoy!

Cream Puffs

I'm definitely not a baker. Baking has rules and I've never been one for those. However, these cream puffs are easy and really impressive when you have friends over. They are made using choux pastry (pâte à choux in french if you want to be fancy). When they cook, they puff up leaving a hollow inside and a crispy outside making them perfect for filling. The dough is very neutral and doesn't have a lot of flavor so you can fill it with either sweet fillings or savory. Try chicken salad! Yum! The puffs should be filled right before serving or they'll become soggy. My version has a vanilla bean & almond custard, strawberries, and fresh sweetened whipped cream. Click Here to see a little video about vanilla beans if you've never used them before.

Vanilla Almond Custard

2cups Whole Milk
½  Cup Sugar
4 Large Egg Yolks
¼  Cup Corn Starch
2Tbs Butter
½  Vanilla Bean (seeds and pod)
1tsp Almond Extract

In a medium saucepan bring the milk, ¼ of sugar, the vanilla beans and the pod to a simmer. 
In a bowl whisk together the egg yolks cornstarch and the rest of the sugar. Whisk the hot milk into the egg mixture little by little (too fast and you'll cook the eggs). Pick out the pod and discard. Pour the mixture back into the pan and whisk at medium heat until it thickens. Remove from heat. Whisk in the butter (cut in little pieces) until it melts. Whisk in the almond extract. Put a piece of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the custard (so the top doesn't get crusty) and put it in the fridge to set for at least 2 hours. You can make this custard the day before if you want. After chilling, whisk it until it becomes smooth and soft before using.

Choux Pastry

1 Cup Water

½ Cup of butter (cut up)
¼ tsp Salt

1 tsp Sugar

1 Cup All Purpose Flour

5 Eggs beaten

Preheat the oven to 400.

In a medium saucepan boil the butter, water, salt and sugar on Medium heat. Once boiling, dump all of the flour into the pot at one time and stir it with a wooden spoon until it becomes a smooth ball. Put the ball of dough into a large mixing bowl. Add a little of the beaten eggs and stir until it is incorporated. Add a little more of the egg and stir. Repeat until there are no more eggs. The end result should be kind of like really thick frosting. Put into a piping bag or spoon onto a baking sheet.You can also use a ziplock bag with the corner cut off.

Bake at 400 for 15 min. Then, lower the oven to 350 and bake another 25 minutes or until they are dark golden brown. DON'T OPEN THE OVEN! Unless you want them to deflate and ruin them. Be sure to let them cool before filling or the cream will just melt and make a mess. Cut them in half using a bread knife and fill. You can also just poke a hole in them and fill them with a piping bag. If you wait too long to eat them and they get soggy you can toast them in the oven a bit before serving.

Fresh Whipped Cream

¼ Cup of Confectioners Sugar

½ Tsp Vanilla Extract

2 cups of Heavy Cream

Using a wire whisk beat the hell out of it until it is almost stiff. your arm will get tired but don't get discouraged and give up because the end result is totally worth it. Use a piping bag with a star tip so it looks all fancy.

Tomato Soup & Grilled Cheese || For Grown-ups

Grilled cheese and tomato soup is a favorite comfort food of mine. However, we're adults now and we need to keep it classy. Although I admit it to be quite tasty, there shall be no more Campbell's condensed soup and Wonderbread with Kraft Singles! Check out my twist on this American classic.

Roasted Tomato Soup

Heirloom, Plum, Campari, Vine Ripened

Ingredients:

5 lbs of assorted tomatoes (just go to the tomato section and       pile a bunch of different ones on the scale)

6 Cups of chicken STOCK (chicken broth isn't the same)

1 head of garlic, peeled (apx 10 cloves)

1 large yellow onion, diced (apx 2cups)

1 Cup heavy cream (more or less if you want)

4 Bay leaves

3 Tablespoons of butter

1 handfull of chopped fresh basil

Olive Oil

Salt & Fresh ground pepper

Preheat the oven to 450.

Cut the tomatoes into quarters and scoop out the seeds with a metal teaspoon. Spread the seeded tomato pieces and peeled garlic cloves out on a foiled baking sheet. Drizzle generously with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast in the oven for apx 30-40 minutes or until they start turning brown and caramelized. 

In a large soup pot, melt butter on medium high heat. Add onions and saute until they're soft. Add the roasted tomatoes and garlic to the pot. Pour in 6 cups of chicken stock and add the bay leaves. Reduce the heat and let it simmer until half of the liquid is gone. Apx 30-40 min. Pick out the bay leaves and add the fresh basil. 

If you don't have an immersion blender (the handheld stick kind) then you can puree it in a regular blender in batches. Return the blended soup  to the pot and slowly mix in the cream. Let simmer for 10 more minutes then add more salt and pepper if you want.

 Baller Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Fresh Sourdough bread, gruyere cheese, (shredded so it melts better) sliced tomato, arugula, prosciutto and course ground or Dijon mustard. Then, cook it a pan with a little bit of butter and truffle oil.

Seared & Roasted Lamb Chops W/ Red Wine Pan Sauce

Lamb chops are totally my favorite. I like double cut rib chops because they come out juicer but if you can only find singles that's fine, just remember they cook faster. Pan sauces are brainless, but your friends will think you're super fancy. I make mine with whatever red wine I happen to be drinking while cooking. When I marinate meat, I honestly just throw a bunch of stuff in a bowl and mix it together all willy-nilly but here is my best attempt at quantifying my ingredients.

Marinade:


For 2 Double Cut Chops so adjust as necessary


1 ½ Tbs Fresh Rosemary Minced
1 ½ Tbs Fresh Thyme Minced
2 Cloves Garlic Minced
1 Tbs Coarse Ground Mustard
3 Tbs Olive Oil
Fresh Ground Pepper
Sea Salt
Splash of Worcestershire Sauce
Splash of Maggi Seasoning or Soy Sauce

Mix and let the meat marinate for at least 30 min.

Make It Hot:


Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Cover a sheet with foil and put it in the oven to heat up.  
Put a heavy bottomed pan on a large burner and turn to med-high. Scrape the marinade off of the chops and leave in the bowl for later. Sear the chops on each side for about 2-3 minutes so that each side is browned. Transfer the chops to the foiled pan in the oven using tongs and roast for about 8-10 minutes. (8min will be about medium rare) Be sure to let them rest before cutting and eating!

Let's Get Saucy:

The pan used to sear the meat should have little browned bits stuck to the bottom of it. Turn the burner to medium and add some of the marinade bits that you scraped off of the meat earlier. Saute until the garlic begins to turn golden. Immediately add ½ cup of red wine and ½ a cup of low sodium beef stock. Using a wooden spatula, scrape the little bits from the bottom of the pan. Let the liquids reduce by half. Mix in a tablespoon of butter for added yummyness and let it thicken on Low. Strain out the solids if you want to.