Alsatian Meat Pie

     Alsace is located on the eastern border of France adjacent to Germany and Switzerland. This region loves its pork! It is also known for its white wine and produces some of the world's finest riesling and sylvaner wines. The cuisine of this reigon is heavily German due to it's history of Germanic possession. The food of Alsace is unique to this area of France and doesn't much resemble the idea of 'French' food. Did I mention, these people are really into pork? This Tourte à la viande is no exception to the Alsatian way. It's full of pork and wine, it's rustic and German, and definitely doesn't follow the frou-frou French tradition. It's actually a bit medieval..


Ask your butcher to coarsely grind the meat so its a bit chunky. Unless you grind it yourself... Baller.


The crust is Pâte Brisée but you can totally use that Pillsbury stuff and I swear I wont tell anyone!!  It's just a generic butter based pastry dough but the French make everything sound fancy. The key is to keep it cold, finish it quickly, and don't touch it too much because your body heat screws it up.

Pâte Brisée 

2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup cold butter
1/3 cup cold water

Mix the flour and salt together. Then, using a big fork or a food processor, cut the chilled butter into the flour until it looks like coarse sand with a few pea-sized pieces of butter in it. Sprinkle the water evenly over the mixture and toss gently a few times until a ball forms but no longer than that!!! Separate the dough into two balls, flatten slightly into thick disk shapes, wrap in plastic wrap, and chill for 2 hours or so.. You can cheat and cut the time in half by putting it in the freezer. OR.. just use the premade crap.

Ingredients:

2 Dinner Rolls

1 Cup of Milk

1lb of Ground Pork Tenderloin

1lb of Ground Veal Leg

2 Tbs of Butter

2 Diced Onions

1 Potato Peeled and Diced

1 Cup of Sylvaner Wine

1 Tbs Chopped Parsely

1 Tsp of Salt

Fresh Ground Pepper

Pâte Brisée

Tourte à la viande:

Break rolls into pieces and soak in milk for about 10 minutes. Drain the excess mild from the rolls and squeeze them a bit. Then chop them up. Saute the onions in the butter and add the bread potato and meat. Saute for 10 more min. Stir in the wine and parsley, then season with salt and pepper. Chill overnight. After chilling be sure to let the meat mixture drain for a while so all the excess liquid comes out. Otherwise, the pie will become watery and soggy.

Roll out the Brisse on a lightly floured surface into 2 - 9" round pieces. Put the bottom round into a greased pie dish. Fill with meaty goodness and top with the second piece of dough. Brush the edges of the dough with water and press to seal the edges. Cut a round vent hole in the center to allow steam to escape. Brush the entire crust with egg yolk. Bake at 350 for about an hour. Let sit before slicing otherwise it will fall apart and turn into a meaty mess.

Oysters With Black Bean Sauce

     In the summertime, my parents used to take me to Nantasket Beach in Hull, MA to ride a beautiful wooden carousel that was built sometime in the 20's. Afterwards we'd go eat at a restaurant named La Dalat and order big fat oysters with black bean sauce. Eating these brings me back to a time when waving at my parents every single go-round never got boring. These can be steamed or grilled. Bring them to a BBQ and be the highlight of the party!

     Black bean sauce is a salty brown sauce is made from fermented soybeans and a pretty standard Asian condiment. You can make it from scratch if you want, but it is readily available in the ethnic section of any supermarket so why bother. I have found that Lee Kum Kee brand sauces are pretty legit and easy to find. Click Here to see what the jar looks like. In this recipe I also use sweet soy sauce (which I love) Click Here to see what it looks like. If you can't find the sweet soy sauce it can be omitted.

My Tips On Buying Live Oysters:


     In my opinion, oysters should always be purchased from a legit fishmonger at a seafood market. Be sure to only buy shellfish that are tightly closed. Also, double-check your oysters for cracked shells. A cracked shell means an inedible oyster! If you bring home oysters that are open, tap them on the shell and wait for them to close. If your oyster will not react after tapping on the shell, you cannot eat it because it is dead. 


     They used to say that you should only eat oysters in months containing the letter 'R'.  However, Today, with farmed oysters and monitoring for pathogens, you can eat oysters year-round. Generally, oysters spawn in the summer months, May through August. Spawning causes them to become kind of creamy tasting, soft, and less flavorful. This is really only a guideline because oysters spawn depending on the temperature of the water and not the season. But, since we are cooking them in this recipe it doesn't much matter if you ask me. When cooking oysters, I try to choose the biggest ones because they will shrink as they cook. Click Here for a little video about shucking them if you haven't done it before.

Ingredients:

Raw Oysters In Their Shell
1 Tbs of Sesame Oil
2 Tbs Miced Shallot
1 Clove of Garlic, Minced
Small Palm-full of Fresh Ginger Peeled and Sliced Into Matchsticks
2 Heaping Tbs of prepared Black Bean Sauce or Black Bean Garlic Sauce
1 Tsp of Rice Wine
1 Tsp of White Granulated Sugar (I usually use a bit more because I like the sauce sweet)
1 Tsp of Sweet Soy Sauce
1/2 Tsp of Balsamic Vinegar
2 Stalks of sliced green onion




Get Shuckin':


In small saucepan, heat the sesame oil over medium-low heat. Fry the ginger, shallots and garlic until softened and fragrant, 2 to 3 minutes. Stir in black bean sauce, wine, sugar sweet soy and vinegar; simmer for 2 minutes stirring constantly.Mix in the sliced green onion.

Now, there are 2 ways to go about cooking them. Shuck the oysters, and toss the top shell. Be sure to keep as much of the oyster liquor in without spilling it. spoon the sauce into the shell with the oyster and steam them.

Another way to cook them is to barbecue them on the grill; there's no need to shuck them first. Put the unopened oysters directly on the grill, flat shell up. When the shells pop open take off the top shell, spoon in a bit of the prepared sauce, and return them to the grill until the sauce begins to bubble.

Lobstah

Lobstah... My absolute favorite food. I'm talking about REAL lobster. Homarus americanus! Big ugly bastards with wicked big claws swimmin' in wicked cold watah. Those spiny abominations you warm folk call lobsters are not welcomed in my kitchen. All crustaceans were NOT created equal.

A Big Bug

How To Buy:

Lobster should always be purchased ALIVE! Ocean to plate is the best but unfortunately I live in Florida now so I have to buy them out of a supermarket tank. You should be wary of this. Chose the ones that are the fastest in the tank. When picked up, the tail should curl in. Definitely choose ones that have some fight in them. It should be looking you in the eye thinking "you just wait till I get these fuckin' rubber bands off! Your nose is mine! *insert evil lobster laugh*"  I always choose lobsters that are between 1¼ to 1½ lbs. I try to stay under 2lbs because I find the bigger ones are more chewy and they aren't as sweet. They should be cooked as soon as possible. Yes, it's murder. 

How To Murder:


In my opinion, which is fact, lobster is best when steamed/boiled. You're going to need a big pot. A lobster pot or a stock pot is best. An 8qt pot will cook one at a time and a 16qt stock pot will fit 2-3.  Don't jam too many into one pot or they wont cook evenly and you'll have seafood water over-boiling all over your kitchen. Fill the pot with water about half way. You want the lobsters to be submersed but you don't want it to be so full that the water over-boils. Bring the water to a boil, grab your victim on the back of the head (don't worry the claws can't get you from there) and use a pair of kitchen scissors to snip the rubber bands off. It's super important that you aren't a wuss and you snip the bands! If you don't, the water will taste rubbery and GROSS. Then, it's head first to their demise. Smash them down into the pot so they're fully covered. It's ok if they bob around a bit you can just keep poking them down with some tongs every once in a while. Cooking time depends on how big your lobsters are: 1-1 ¼ lb. 12 - 15 minutes. 1 ¼ - 2 lb. 15 - 20 minutes. 2-3 lb. 20 - 25 minutes. The lobster should turn a bright vibrant red when done. Cooked lobster meat is white. If it looks a little transparent you haven't cooked it long enough. 
CRACK! BUTTER. BUTTER. BUTTER. Mmmmmm.


Note: There has always been argument over drawn butter and clarified butter. Salted vs. Unsalted. Everyone shut up, put some butter in a little bowl and microwave for 30 seconds. 

Leftovers:


I always gorge myself on the tails and by the time I get to the claws I'm just too full. Don't despair! Leftover lobster meat is perfect for New England Lobster rolls. A little lemon, a little mayo, a little celery, a little salt and pepper and STOP. The lobster should be the star so don't cover it up with too much junk. Serve on a butter toasted bun. Preferably split on the top but they're hard to find where I live so I have to make do with hotdog buns. I use a leaf of boston lettuce or bib lettuce or butter lettuce or whatever you wanna call it between the bun and the lobster to prevent the toasty bread from getting soggy. 

I'd like to take this opportunity for a product shout out. LEMONAISE! It's actually perfect for lobster rolls and it's just a really good condiment all around.