I Don't Care If My Pee Smells!!!

Asparagus seems to be on sale everywhere early this year. Let's all thank global warming!  Asparagus is wicked good for you because it's loaded with vitamins, folacin, and fiber. So, here are some of my asparagus tips! (pun totally intended) 

• Stalks should be straight and firm
• Pick bunches with spears all the same size so they cook evenly
• Choose stalks with dark green or purple compacted and closed tips.
• Generally, narrower stalks are more tender
• Be sure to hack off the woody bottom of the bunch
• Wrap in a damp paper towel if you plan on storing them in the fridge

When it comes to cooking asparagus you really don't have to do much to it.
I like to cut up the spears and add a bunch of halved grape tomatoes, minced garlic, then season with salt and pepper. Spread it out on a pan in a single layer and drizzle olive oil on top. Throw it in the oven at about 300 degrees for about 30min. Stir it around half way through. Done, easy and yummy.


However, nothing trumps simply steamed asparagus drenched in Holladaise sauce. It's soooo bad for you but soooo good! I've tried a few 'diet' sauce recipes but nothing beats the original. That being said, here is Julia Child's recipe because she is totally the bees knees. Note: It's pretty tricky to make if you're a noob. Seriously, don't rush it and don't get distracted and start texting. Since the recipe is almost entirely butter, use the good stuff. You know, the ones up top with the fancy foil. I like Kerrygold Irish Butter and President. If you're trying this for the first time, buy a package of the Knorr powdered mix in case you screw up!

Ingredients:


3 Egg Yolks
1 Tablespoon of water
1 Tablespoon of fresh lemon juice (I use more at the end)
6-8 Ounces of softened unsalted butter
dash of cayenne pepper
salt to taste (I use sea salt)
freshly ground white pepper
A whisk (don't even attempt to use anything else)


And Here We Go:


Whisk the yolks, water, and lemon juice in the saucepan until thick and pale.

Set the pan over moderately low heat and continue to whisk, reaching all over the bottom and insides of the pan, where the eggs tend to overcook. To moderate the heat, frequently move the pan off the burner for a few seconds, and then back on. You have to be careful that you don't start scrambling the eggs. 


As they cook, the eggs will become frothy and increase in volume, and then thicken. When you can see the pan bottom through the streaks of the whisk and the eggs are thick and smooth, remove from the heat.


By spoonfuls, add the soft butter, whisking constantly to incorporate each addition. As the emulsion forms, you may add the butter in slightly larger amounts, always whisking until fully absorbed. Continue incorporating butter until the sauce has thickened to the consistency you want. (I like it thick)  


Season lightly with salt, white pepper, and a dash of cayenne pepper, whisking in well. Taste and adjust the seasoning, adding lemon juice little by little if you want more.